By Hasson Harris Wilcher
Mental Health has been a dirty word for a long time. May has been deemed National Mental Health Month yet most Americans miss the key factors that play a part in mental health and demonize those who have it. Then the whole world had experienced a (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime pandemic that turned most of us into shut-ins in a matter of weeks. How things change. I had written an article called “Run From Your Stress” about how exercise helps you manage stress, but not fully dove into the idea of Mental Health. I will correct that now and explore mental hygiene and my reflections since COVID-19.
Mental Health. What is it?
Mental health is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as:
the condition of being sound mentally and emotionally that is characterized by the absence of mental illness and by adequate adjustment especially as reflected in feeling comfortable about oneself, positive feelings about others, and the ability to meet the demands of daily life
also : the general condition of one’s mental and emotional state
The first known use of this term was around 1650. Which means to me that people should have been caring about this for a long time, yet the history that follows after certainly shows we forgot about it along the way. To care about not only the physical health but the mental, and emotional health of someone is to care about them deeply & fully. So, my dear reader, since I care about you fully & deeply; let us delve into the world of mental health and get you to the other side refreshed, & more alive.
Mental Hygiene. What is it?
I define mental hygiene the process of actively and passively attending to your mental self. The process of evaluating your thought processes, coping strategies, habits, and overall wellbeing then the actionable steps you take to curb yourself to a healthier & sustainable state. To notice the mess, form a plan to clean it up, to then do so, and finally to make it consistent.
I call it Mental Hygiene because it is a process that should be a part of your life like washing and taking care of yourself physically but in a mental way. You don’t shower only every 3 months, thusly, you shouldn’t do something for your mental health only every changing season either. Everyday, or every other day you should be doing something outside of work or school or adult life that puts fuel in your tank. So, let’s break this down into four steps that will help you realize a better you.
Step 1: Realize That You Stink
Hey, somebody had to say it! Not to kick you while you are down but you have to realize that you stink every now and then. You must look at yourself with a critical but not overly judgmental eye and see yourself. The actions, bad habits, or symptoms that you are exhibiting. It may be a pattern of heavy drinking or drug use, a lack of energy or motivation, stress that spills over into your life, anxiety, depression, or thoughts of suicide. The energy that you are showing the outside world, or trying to hide from yourself, it stinks! The bad energy is a funk that seems nearly impossible to get off of you, and drives the manifestations that begin to pop-up in your daily life. Coping seems like an insurmountable task, and starts chipping away at you day-by-day, hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute.
Noticing these patterns and wanting to do or be better is the first step you need to take to break the habit. Truly listening to your friends, your family, and your self will start to line things back into place. Find out where or what might have caused you to fall into these destructive habits and thought patterns. Was it a particular traumatic event, a difficult person, a specific situation or predicament that you found yourself in? Identifying the stressor will then open up the options of how to deal with it. Most of our stress are things that we can’t remove from our lives but there are ways to manage it, and develop a hygiene habit that will make us healthier. Identify the habits you want to curb, identify the stresses, and then identify the stressors you have. When you have a good understanding of these aspects, and started to realize that everybody stinks. Still, it is what you do about it that makes all the difference. Then you are ready to take the next step.
Step 2: Shopping Around
Hop in your vehicle of choice & drive on down to your local supermarket, and see all of the products on offer. So many options. I myself am an Old Spice guy but I know some Irish Spring lads. Then again there is Dial, which… Sorry. Lost the thread there for a second. Anyways…
You can go online, ask a friend or family member, or remember what worked for you in the past in terms of how help alleviate stress. Know that you are not alone and don’t have to work through your treatments alone as well. You want to find an option that works for you. Something that you aren’t allergic to, that doesn’t irritate you, and leaves a pleasant scent or impression as your move about your day. Everyone is slightly different in how they go about getting the treatments that they need but there are things that give your brain a boost. Some treatments are strong and quick. While others can be slow and methodical. It depends on what you can handle at any given time. It is fine to dip your toes in and see what feels right, but make sure when you do that you attempt to be present in whatever activity that you end up doing. Diverting your focus away from your treatment will lead to spotty and blotchy application. Be aware of the time that you can dedicate to growth and changing your habits.
Some treatment options may include but not limited to:
- Exercise
- Journaling
- Meditation
- Reading
- Arts and Crafts
- Sports
- Music
- Cooking
- Gardening
- Cleaning
- Hiking
- Dancing
- Singing
- Therapy
- Watching TV/Movies/Netflix
- Video Games
Picking one or combinations of a few will allow your brain to process and release wonderful chemicals that will begin to change your habits. To make these actual habits, you actually have to do them. You should move onto the next step.
Step 3: Hit the Showers!
Now that you know that you stink, you went to the store & paid for your stuff, then it is time to go home and take care of yourself. You can kick the bathroom door in, look in the mirror and say: “Damn I look good, but I can be better. It’s makeover time!” Or add whatever other mantra you want in its place. But you HAVE to do it. When I said ‘can’ I meant you HAVE to.
Non-negotiable.
I’ll wait.
Find a mirror and speak your goals into existence.
I’ll wait. I’m patient…
Are you back?
Good!
Make sure that you are taking the time and care to envelop yourself in the treatment. The mantra was your cleansing shower to start washing away the negative energy and stink that you have around you right down the drain. You are more than your trauma, stress, problems, and whatever is keeping you down. What you want for yourself is attainable and you have been taking the steps to see it through. A better you is on the horizon. The soap that you may be using may be Journaling or Meditation as it works deeply to understand and reflect on your emotions & feelings. As you work to hone in on what your mantra and goals mean to you. A greater vision of yourself may begin to form and the stink of the past begins washing down the drain. Your shampoo & conditioner are the Music you are listening to while Journaling and the Singing that follows the Music. Your roots liven up again, and the grime that once clung to you begins to wash down the drain. You hop out of the shower cleaner than before. You dry yourself and start to do a little Dance as you make your way throughout the day. Your brain stretches and is now ready for the day ahead.
That was only 5-20 minutes that you took out of your day to freshen up. The same 5-20 minutes that you might be using to take a shower can be used to integrate mental health minded activities into your day. If you have more time you want to dedicate to your mental health plan than you can invest developing your own backyard garden, or paint a beautiful sunset with an acrylic paint set, or learn a song on the guitar/keyboard that has been hiding in your room, or play a video game that you have been dying to play (probably not Demon Souls or something, remember you are trying to LESSEN stress). You have your fair share of products to choose from and one that address specific needs that you may have. So, be honest with yourself and try substituting your bad habits with better ones. Now that you may not feel better overnight, but if you start to bathe regularly, you might be surprised how clean you feel. So, having hit the showers once or twice, you will begin to move onto the next step.
Step 4: Stay Fresh and Shiny
There will be days where you don’t feel so clean, days where you forget to shower, and days where the stink just won’t seem to go away. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Life and people are hard enough as it is. You are a work in progress and it takes time to change. According to a 2009 study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, it takes 18 to 254 days for a person to form a new habit. The study also concluded that, on average, it takes 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. Something turns into a habit when it is done almost without thought. It is actively changing your brain to adopt a new way of thinking and doing. After a certain point it becomes passive. But it is through this active process that you can begin being more comfortable and have life feel natural. To consciously try to change the patterns of the subconscious. To make the destructive, constructive. To be comfortable just being you. To ask that of yourself is to love what makes you, you.
This step is about sticking with the plan through all of the things that may come your way. To achieve some level of inner stability in the midst of outer stress. By finding and doing things that move you in ways that some may never know. To know your strengths, and your weaknesses. Then having the ability to cope with, and adapt to the stresses that will come. With time, repetition, and sticking to a plan that works for you will help see you through. Hygiene is a habit that we all know how to do. You can wash your body and you can also wash your brain too.
COVID Corner
COVID-19 has thrown the whole world for a loop. As social creatures, we were told to avoid other people for our own health and safety. Our physical health and safety. But our mental health and safety were in freefall. Mental health bubbled back up to the surface. The need to be around and with others was palpable. The days spent on your own or shacked up with those in your household came with the same sort of sameness & dissatisfaction. It was so much harder to sound or comfortable in the midst of the lack of freedom. No one was really hopeful or felt the true connection of others. It could be glimpsed at through Zoom screens, Facetime calls, and an occasional car drive-by. But nothing can replace that presence of people that you love or care for. I felt this all too often. My mom, ever so thoughtfully sent me an article about languishing. An excerpt reads as follows:
In psychology, we think about mental health on a spectrum from depression to flourishing. Flourishing is the peak of well-being where you have a strong sense of meaning, mastery and mattering to others. Depression is the valley of ill-being in which you feel despondent, drained and worthless.
Languishing is the neglected middle child of mental health. It’s the void between depression and flourishing – the absence of well-being. You don’t have symptoms of mental illness but you’re not the picture of mental health either. You’re not functioning at full capacity. Languishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work. It appears to be more common than major depression and in some ways it may be a bigger risk factor for mental illness.
This feels particularly true given what was happening. It seemed as though we were all lacking certainty, comfort, meaning, and hope. To have this cloud of anxiety looming in the distance. Not knowing what was coming. A collective holding of our breaths as we wait for things to change for the better. For me, my contract ending and being shot into the void. To fend for myself in a new landscape that was alien to me and nearly everyone else. A chance to hold and catch our breath. To step in a new and hopefully better direction. I have chosen to step confidently in a direction that I feel will work for me. A step out of languishing and towards flourishing. To find my meaning, to hone my mastery, and remind others that I matter.
As I make those new steps, I will not neglect my hygiene. I will shower in my mantra, clean with my meditation, shampoo & condition with music & singing, dry with dancing, lotion with exercise, moisturize with arts & crafts, cut my nails with books, and shave with my writing. It has been doing alright so far. Stay clean and shiny my friends.
***If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. ***
The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.
Call 1-800-273-8255 or visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ for services and support.
Bibliography
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mental%20health
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-does-it-take-to-form-a-habit#base-figure